Pound Cake

"It was an experiment, a science experiment," laments Raul. "A science experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong. There was a dozen eggs about to go bad . . ."

"Buck up," says Drew. "Even Bill Nye the Science Chef had the occasional mis-step." Beneath his flippant surface Drew is concerned. The pound cake - that wound up being a several pound cake though that may have had to do with Raul's not noticing that the recipe stated: Serves 16 - is the latest baking attempt that was less than successful and one more failure and Raul's fragile sanity may hang in the balance. Two lemon cakes were terminated when the texture was not perfect and the Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Bread met a similar fate despite an attempt to turn it into biscotti. Drew had actually enjoyed the biscotti and was perturbed when every crispy slice vanished overnight, never to be seen, or savoured, again.

"It's the oven," continues Raul. "There are cold spots. I baked it for a half hour longer than the recipe called for and it burnt on the outside on one side but was still doughy inside. I have, you should know, baked successfully before."

"And this was a success," encourages Drew. "It's just a little heavy. But isn't pound cake supposed to be heavy?"

"Yes," says Raul. "But if we eat all this cake we will be heavy too. We'll be lying helpless on the floor with bloated bellies. Like the snake that swallowed the dingo whole."

"We could Mildred Pierce it and share it with the neighbours."

"We will not share that cake with anyone," asserts Raul. "It will be gone in the morning."

For the record the recipe comes from grouprecipes.com and the results are no reflection on their usual thoroughness.

Butter Cake Or 12 Eggs Cake

Ingredients: 
1 pound salted butter 
4 cups sugar 
12 eggs 
4 cups Pillsbury all-purpose flour 
1 ounce bottle lemon extract (Raul used vanilla extract)

Directions: 
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 
Cream butter and sugar together. 
Add one egg at a time, mixing well after each addition. 
Add flour gradually. 
Mix in lemon extract. 
Pour mixture into a large Bundt pan or Angel Food Cake Pan, greased and floured, to about 1 to 2 inches from the top. 
Bake for one hour or until cake tests as done. 
Allow cake to cool thoroughly.

By the time the cake is done, Raul is too discouraged to make icing from scratch so he heads across the street to Food Basics for some Betty Crocker Whipped Fluffy White Icing or, as Drew calls it, Betty Crocker Pop n' Spread. The cake is substantial but delicious and R&D valiantly eat as much of a large slice as they dare. "I can eat this for the next eight days," enthuses Drew fraudulently.

"It must have been when all the bubbles overflowed," obsesses Raul. "All the lightness flowed right out and burnt on the oven floor. With God as my witness, I will yet bake a perfect cake."